Drubskin

I think I’m going to start a new one.

Thank you to all who participated in the once in a lifetime sale of my work. It will never happen again.

12 people are going to be very happy!

yourplayersaidwhat:

So, we’re playing the 5e “Hoard of the Dragon Queen” campaign setting, and we’re right at the end of it in the flying castle. Our party consists of a Halflng Barbarian, a Drow Rogue (Me), a Tiefling Cleric, Human Fighter, Halfling Rogue, Half-Orc Warlock, and a Tiefling Paladin.

The party had just finished killing everything except the Vampire in the castle. The Rogue and the Ranger had sneakily coup de graced the sleeping ogres in one of the room and this happens.

DM: “Ok, so the smell of all the blood is attracting the attention of the vampire. You have *rolls* two minutes to form a plan.

Everyone starts freaking out on how to make this work cause everyone is low on HP, Potions, and spells.

Warlock: “We have that bag of holding we got from the Giant. Lets stuff her inside it!”

Everyone else: “What!?”

DM: *Sighs*

Fighter: “Well if we’re gonna die, lets make it funny at least yeah?”

Cleric: “Ok, I’ll stone shape the door frame so the Halfling can stand on top of it and jump down on her when she comes in”

Paladin and the Fighter: “We’ll stand on either side of the door and shove that undead bitch in.”

Ranger and the Rogue: “We’ll hide, bows drawn for when this fails horribly.”

The warlock and the cleric also hide waiting for this to fail. The Vampire walks into the room, drawn by the sweet smell of blood.

The Halfling jumps down onto the Vampire, Bag of Holding open: “Gotcha bitch!!”

The fighter and the paladin jump from either side and start trying to wrestle her into the back, and with lots of failing contested strength checks, this plan is going south, fast. THEN THIS HAPPENS!

Cleric: “What if I throw a bunch of holy water at her feet. Will she jump into the bag trying to get away from it.

DM: *Speachless*

DM: “I’ll allow the attempt… Roll for me on this one”

Cleric: *Nat 20*

DM *Throws his dice and storms out of the room*

Comes back 5 minutes later after laughing and crying

DM: “Ok. So the Holy water idea works like a charm. The flask breaks at the Vampire’s feet and out of pure reflex she jumps into the bag to avoid the burning of the holy water on her bare feet.”

Barbarian: *Zips the bag up.* “Well….bitch in a bag…Do we get to use her as a sneak attack weapon?”

DM: “I hate all of you….”